May. 2nd, 2014

nazariblu: (Dean Winchester)

Putting words to the page is a hard thing to do for some like me. Every time I try to put cohesive sentences together my brain gets all jumbled and I forget how to string words together. So I am trying this whole write whatever comes to my head thing. This can be difficult to because sometimes I tend to over think things that should just come naturally but for some reason that doesn’t happen very often for me. Its like I have this brain blockage that only appears when I would like to be creative in some way. I don’t know how to fix it. I mean I do the usual stuff google prompts to help start stories and poems but nothing seems to help. The poems that I do start take forever to finish  as do the stories that I start, well thats if I finish them at all. I really don’t know what to do about it. Writing use to be such a big part of how i define myself that without it I feel lost and alone. Yea,I know normal people read this and they think I’m being melodramatic but I’m not I promise. I just have been alone most of my life,being an only child and feeling like the few friends I did have didn’t know me at all, yea gets a little lonely. Writing was my escape from reality and into my own little world, that looked something like wonderland. I was an amazing place and I  miss it so much but I can’t get back there and it sucks. I want to be able to vintner their whenever I want, see the sights,meet the  characters, add new characters. I read a lot these stories about some of my favorite characters and I wonder how they keep their writing Mojo going. I wonder what makes them so much different from me. What do they have that I don’t? Why can they produce such amazing things while I can barely write my name. I really don’t think these questions will be answered ever but I still wonder. I dope this exercise helps me gain my skills back because I still feel alone in a see of people and I want to expel these feelings into woods and make it all better. I want to finally feel free of all of this pain that I feel. I want to enjoy life again. (10-14-2013 3:30am)

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nazariblu

December 2016

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